God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
