There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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