someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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