If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
