Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
they need to just BURY HIM!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
