why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
