Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
