I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
