I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
