8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
