No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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