Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I will die if light touches me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
