Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
