I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
