i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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