do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
