am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
