We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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