ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
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