if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
3pm strippers are depressing
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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