We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
