Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
