so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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