I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
