she was so not down for the gang bang
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
