I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
