We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
