i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
