Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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