What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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