Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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