i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
