Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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