evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
