What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize