Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
