This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
