What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize