wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
