I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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