If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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