Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
