She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
