So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize