Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
