I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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