If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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