The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
