Don't make out with my wife yet
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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