ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
