Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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