i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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