I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize