You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
