Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
