How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
