I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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