But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
