hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My penis needs a shock collar
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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