Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
