Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
