even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
this is an emotional support booty call
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