It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
